The Gentle Art of Non-Complaining
"I can’t believe my boss won’t give me those days off I requested!"
"I’ve been sitting here waiting for over 45 min…I want to speak to your supervisor."
"Here I am on vacation and it’s raining!"
"They need to do something about all these homeless people."
"The price of gas is ridiculous!"
"My steak is over-cooked!"
Bitch, carp, fret, fuss, gripe, groan, grouse, growl, grumble, lament, moan, snivel, wail, whimper, whine, yammer
Call it what you will, complaining is one of the most pervasive and annoying of all human behaviors. Some call it "frumping." I like the word because it sounds exactly the way it feels when you hear someone do it. And that would be everyone on the planet. Psychologists say we do it 20 to 30 times a day. You'd think it was better than sex!
According to the dictionary to com•plain (k m-pl n ) is:
1. To express feelings of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment.
Assuming you have not achieved sainthood, what are some of the common complaints you express or hear on a daily basis?
I was perusing a recent copy of AARP and came across an article entitled “The Art of Complaining.” I was sort of surprised…I didn’t think old people needed a tutorial on complaining, I figured by the time you reached your mature years, you pretty much had complaining down pat.
Complaining takes an awful lot of energy and it drains the energy of those around the complainer. Then when people start to complain in a group, it catches like wildfire and the energy of that group gets sucked into the downward spiral of complaining despair. Not only that but physically your heart rate and blood pressure are elevated and you can get headaches and stomachaches. Researchers have actually discovered that “second-hand complaining” or those who are in the presence of vocal complainers, have even more severe physical symptoms.
I think they should have a 12 step program for complaining. Hello, my name is Linda and I’m a complainer. (Everyone responds “Hello, Linda.”) There could be meetings in every DMV across the country because that’s where a huge amount of complaining occurs.
Let’s say you have identified yourself as a chronic complainer. What do you do about it? I know you want to change because you cannot live a happy healthy life if you fill every moment of it with the negative energy of complaining.
First thing you can do is to observe yourself.
Notice it because by changing your mind you change your life.
Stop it and replace the grousing with gratitude. “Thank-you” is a powerful, positive energy that you put out there.
How do you keep this in the forefront of your mind? Put a bracelet or colorful wide rubber band on your wrist. Every time you catch yourself complaining, move the rubber band to the opposite wrist. It’s called cognitive retraining. You could snap it against your wrist but then you’d complain about that, kind of defeats the purpose. See if you can do this for 21 days. New habits are formed in 21 days.
2nd thing is to express gratitude at every complaining occurrence. I keep a small stone or rock in my pocket or on my desk at all times as a reminder to be grateful. Replace the complaints and negativity with positive, grateful thoughts.
Although we all do it, we do have the capacity to reduce how much we complain. Imagine the peace we would experience in a complain-free, positive energy world. John Lennon said it this way:
Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one.
"I’ve been sitting here waiting for over 45 min…I want to speak to your supervisor."
"Here I am on vacation and it’s raining!"
"They need to do something about all these homeless people."
"The price of gas is ridiculous!"
"My steak is over-cooked!"
Bitch, carp, fret, fuss, gripe, groan, grouse, growl, grumble, lament, moan, snivel, wail, whimper, whine, yammer
Call it what you will, complaining is one of the most pervasive and annoying of all human behaviors. Some call it "frumping." I like the word because it sounds exactly the way it feels when you hear someone do it. And that would be everyone on the planet. Psychologists say we do it 20 to 30 times a day. You'd think it was better than sex!
According to the dictionary to com•plain (k m-pl n ) is:
1. To express feelings of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment.
Assuming you have not achieved sainthood, what are some of the common complaints you express or hear on a daily basis?
I was perusing a recent copy of AARP and came across an article entitled “The Art of Complaining.” I was sort of surprised…I didn’t think old people needed a tutorial on complaining, I figured by the time you reached your mature years, you pretty much had complaining down pat.
Complaining takes an awful lot of energy and it drains the energy of those around the complainer. Then when people start to complain in a group, it catches like wildfire and the energy of that group gets sucked into the downward spiral of complaining despair. Not only that but physically your heart rate and blood pressure are elevated and you can get headaches and stomachaches. Researchers have actually discovered that “second-hand complaining” or those who are in the presence of vocal complainers, have even more severe physical symptoms.
I think they should have a 12 step program for complaining. Hello, my name is Linda and I’m a complainer. (Everyone responds “Hello, Linda.”) There could be meetings in every DMV across the country because that’s where a huge amount of complaining occurs.
Let’s say you have identified yourself as a chronic complainer. What do you do about it? I know you want to change because you cannot live a happy healthy life if you fill every moment of it with the negative energy of complaining.
First thing you can do is to observe yourself.
Notice it because by changing your mind you change your life.
Stop it and replace the grousing with gratitude. “Thank-you” is a powerful, positive energy that you put out there.
How do you keep this in the forefront of your mind? Put a bracelet or colorful wide rubber band on your wrist. Every time you catch yourself complaining, move the rubber band to the opposite wrist. It’s called cognitive retraining. You could snap it against your wrist but then you’d complain about that, kind of defeats the purpose. See if you can do this for 21 days. New habits are formed in 21 days.
2nd thing is to express gratitude at every complaining occurrence. I keep a small stone or rock in my pocket or on my desk at all times as a reminder to be grateful. Replace the complaints and negativity with positive, grateful thoughts.
Although we all do it, we do have the capacity to reduce how much we complain. Imagine the peace we would experience in a complain-free, positive energy world. John Lennon said it this way:
Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one.
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