Lightening the Load

In order to be ready for my adventure, I must simplify. Two of my adult children will eventually be moving into my home, caring for it in my absence. I'm packing and consolidating ALL my things into one small bedroom which is acting as my storage unit. This requires going through all my stuff through every room, every closet, every drawer and determining what stays and what must go. I have to touch and handle all my belongings collected over 40 yrs of my life. As I pack, choosing what I absolutely love and will keep vs what I must release, I find myself experiencing cycles of sadness. Grief is happening and I am allowing it. So I pack 4-5 boxes, get them shuffled into their space in the storage room then collapse into emotional exhaustion. I'm amazed that I continually attack this job with excitement and joy, knowing it is bringing me closer to my launch date, yet an hour later I'm devastated with sadness again. Then I plow in later to do more ?!?

My house is nearly bare, bare and naked of my belongings and identifiers. It has become featureless, without personality. Many things have been sold. My sofa...sold. My antiques fans...sold. My gorgeous desk...sold. My beloved Amazon parrot...sold. What remains are the things that are irreplaceable or that are deeply adored...or...I'm just not ready to part with. Yet.

You may wonder why I am going so extreme. I guess for me it is all part of this journey. I am releasing. I do not see myself coming back to this life of work work work. Just to maintain stuff. Nope...I sure do not know what the future holds but for certain it will hold much less stuff.

So, yes, my emotions are all over the place as I pack up all of who I've been, every aspect of my everyday life is being tossed out to embrace this new life, of which I know nothing. And yes, there are waves of extreme excitement, but there are also glimpses of outright terror.

Yet all is well. To simplify I must release. And rather than little by little, I am doing it in one fell swoop.