Easy Does It
I appreciate the fact that you guys keep coming back to see what's up with me and read my humble little blog. Regardless of my mood, gloomy or gay, you are so loyal it touches me deeply. Yes, yesterday was one of the gloomy, dark and icky ones. Today I feel anything is possible. We all must remember that feelings are fickle. You really cannot depend on them for much of anything. They come and go in the blink of an eye.
More importantly, we cannot possibly enjoy the it's-so-great-to-be-alive feelings, if those are all we ever experience. It takes the smelly days to make us aware of the sweet fragrance of the "good" days. And really, why label them good or bad. They just are.
So...I've been increasingly worried (and I try never to even USE the word "worried") about taking Jack on my walk. I realize this may sound insane because I got her specifically to go with me. I fell instantly in love with her and though her puppyness is a strain sometimes, she is slowly growing out of some of it. Slowly is the key word here. Though there are dogs that have gone across the US, most all of them receive car support going over the desert areas, for obvious reasons. I am not planning on car support. What I have been doing is obsessing over that which has not even arrived at my doorstep yet. There are also many difficulties that can be avoided by not taking a dog. I feel as if I write them here, I am giving them more power than I wish to give. So I've been overworking my beanie little brain trying to work out all the situations which could occur.
Thus my depression occurred. Because I CAN'T work out anything. I have to take one step at a time and rely on my Source. Again I forgot. Again, I think I'm in control. Again I'm an idiot. Again.
So today I woke up with the word "easy" resonating in my head. Rather than focus on how hard it all will be with Jack (or without Jack, for that matter). I've decided to focus on E A S Y. It's gonna be easy.
Now if the money would just show up, then things might actually BE a little easier.
More importantly, we cannot possibly enjoy the it's-so-great-to-be-alive feelings, if those are all we ever experience. It takes the smelly days to make us aware of the sweet fragrance of the "good" days. And really, why label them good or bad. They just are.
So...I've been increasingly worried (and I try never to even USE the word "worried") about taking Jack on my walk. I realize this may sound insane because I got her specifically to go with me. I fell instantly in love with her and though her puppyness is a strain sometimes, she is slowly growing out of some of it. Slowly is the key word here. Though there are dogs that have gone across the US, most all of them receive car support going over the desert areas, for obvious reasons. I am not planning on car support. What I have been doing is obsessing over that which has not even arrived at my doorstep yet. There are also many difficulties that can be avoided by not taking a dog. I feel as if I write them here, I am giving them more power than I wish to give. So I've been overworking my beanie little brain trying to work out all the situations which could occur.
Thus my depression occurred. Because I CAN'T work out anything. I have to take one step at a time and rely on my Source. Again I forgot. Again, I think I'm in control. Again I'm an idiot. Again.
So today I woke up with the word "easy" resonating in my head. Rather than focus on how hard it all will be with Jack (or without Jack, for that matter). I've decided to focus on E A S Y. It's gonna be easy.
Now if the money would just show up, then things might actually BE a little easier.
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